After three years off work due to a shoulder problem and four surgeries in a twelve month period, I was done with feeling weak. It's amazing the power our minds have to convince us of things, and I had become convinced that I was no longer strong. I listened to a lot advice from health professionals: not to use my arm, not to do any exercise besides walking, just to sit in my recliner chair and allow it to heal. Funny thing was, though, it got worse and worse. After awhile, I realized that the only true expert on my body was myself. I needed to learn to listen to what my body was telling me.
And it was screaming at me to MOVE.
So, I listened. I started working out every day. At first it was brutal. I was out of shape from years of sitting at my computer desk editing photos and 'resting' my shoulder in between. These workouts were a shock to my system, but I slowly got stronger and stronger. My shoulder pain started being manageable. If I overdid it, I would pay for it a bit, but then I'd ease off for a couple days until it settled down. Ice and heat became my two bffs. Slowly but surely I was able to increase the weights and do more complicated exercises.
After a year of this, I've lost thirty-three pounds. My shoulder has not healed, but it's better - tolerable - and the rest of my body has incredible energy. I feel like I can take on the world. The days of feeling weak and useless are over. My entire mind has been rejuvenated and I no longer tell myself that I can't. Instead, I feel like there's a whole new world of possibilities out there for me to explore now that I know I CAN!
So... I took the plunge and I started something new.
Martial Arts.
Whaaaaaaaat!?!
I know, right!?
My daughter and I signed up for the Black Belt club and Kickboxing classes last month. Gosh, I was nervous. I had no idea if my shoulder would hold up or if I would look like a total fool, but I didn't listen to that little voice that was trying to talk me out of it. I went for it! And am I ever having fun!
Six weeks in and I feel stronger, more confident and in less pain than ever (well unless you count my swollen knuckles and toes! haha) We are still total rookies and have a million things to learn, but we are realizing that we are only incapable of what we tell ourselves we cannot do. Our bodies have been pushed hard, we've done things we'd never have dreamed of doing, and believe it or not, we can't wait to go back for more. (After last Thursday's super-intense drills, that probably means we are crazy! But we'll own that too.)
For a photo project a few days ago, I set up some lights and tried to capture the change that has happened in me. I wanted to show that I'm a fighter; that despite years of unsuccessful treatments and medications, I chose not to give up and admit defeat; that I had within me the desire to find strength and use it to fuel my own healing.
Here are some of the new moves we've been learning.